Wednesday, 10 October 2012

things i am in to right now

    The trendy thing to use blogspot for is a kind of mood board I think, so I am going to start doing that instead of just endlessly saving photos to my laptop and then being unable to remember where I found them SO here are some things I am in to right now!!!!

    The above photos are from Sara Cwynar's website and her tumblr

The Yellow Scale by Franz Kupka (1907)

    I am just really in to bright monochrome right now!!! I will keep adding to this or doing separate posts of art I find, I want to start using blogspot as a proper blog instead of just whining on tumblr.

Monday, 2 April 2012

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Documentation of Carelessness

    I like poems but I do not have a very good attention span so I like Scroobius Pip. The song Rapper's Battle has some lyrics that I like a lot about how "the skin never forgets a deep abrasion but the brain often forgets deep conversations" and scars are a "documentation of carelessness". It makes me think about intelligent design and it also makes me sad.
    My body has kept a record of failed childhood stunts, of falling from trees, of cat scratches, hidden razor shells and drunken falls. I have a bent finger from when it was slammed in a car door. I was too young to remember but my body wasn't. I have perpetually bruised shins from mysterious accidents that my brain never even acknowledges, but my body pays much closer attention to detail. It sees that I pay homage to these insignificant events in shades of purple and green.
    I have scars from incidents that hurt me physically but were void of meaning, not worth a mental note but apparently worth a slight mutilation. A thin white line on my arm is the equivalent of a knot in a handkerchief. It now seems unfitting that I don't have a scar from my first kiss, the first time someone told me they loved me, the first time someone told me they didn't love me any more. I don't have scars from holding hands or from the times when skin-on-skin felt electric. There is no physical trace, no real electric shocks, no evidence to prove that my body has been next to someone else's and that it was more important than anything else. I would rather carry scars to show my triumphs but instead my body sees it appropriate that I remember minor physical failures. I don't remember what happened to make me run, but I can see vividly the shape of the cut from when I fell. I'm not even sure whose hand helped me up.

Monday, 23 January 2012

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Things for 2012

    I am not happy with myself at the moment or any of the decisions I have made in 2011, so I will regretfully become a personification of one of those "New year, new start!!!!" statuses on Facebook. Sorry. Here is a list of new year's resolutions/advice for myself that I will inevitably forget by February (or even January, I only just remembered to finish this post...).
  • Draw. Draw anything and don't be afraid to use up the ink in your felt tips or to waste the expensive paper from Hobbycraft. Draw your favourite faces from the newspaper every day, draw people on the bus or go into town specifically to people watch.
  • Write. I don't know if there is a word for the literary equivalent of doodles, but that's what you should do. A diary, poetry, snatches of conversation, words that sound nice together, clever rhymes etc, anything.
  • Read more classics, and stop reading the same three books over and over. Read more poetry, and start reading to learn. Learn about animals, space, philosophy, history and everything.
  • Start notebooks, and more importantly, finish them. Even if you make ugly mistakes.
  • Stay organised. Keep your bedroom tidy. Keep your plants alive. 
  • Eat better. Go vegan, or at least try harder to go vegan. Perhaps have the weekends off...
  • Go outside!!! It is January 3rd and besides wandering about in the early hours of January 1st you have only managed to leave your house once, so you will have to sort yourself out.
  • Learn to play the ukulele properly, and re-teach yourself piano using the books you stole from your piano teacher a few years ago.
  • Make a flippin' zine already.

Wednesday, 28 December 2011


    I am generally bad at baking but I went sort of crazy over Christmas and managed to make a Christmas cake, cookies and several batches of mince pies and everybody smiled politely and nobody was rude to my face, which is unusual for my grandma to control herself like that.

    So besides my newly found culinary prowess (I used the phrase "culinary prowess" when talking to my grandma and then realised that I have only ever heard the word "prowess" in the context of "sexual prowess" so I wasn't sure if it was rude, but I googled it afterwards and I am safe. My grandma is deaf anyway.) I had a super great Christmas. I got the dreamiest shoes, a few books of poetry, lots of music and cupcake-baking things, so expect a lot more baking!!!!

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Boy Songs

    Whenever anything of note happens to me I seem to subconsciously try and find a song for it. Whenever a person of note happens to me I can subconsciously make entire playlists, so here is some rambling and some pretty boy songs (Boys are in chronological order because that is who I am now).

Camera Obscura - Other Towns and Cities
    The first boy (who, incidentally, EVERY Smiths song is about) to properly have a song. It is a super pretty boy song and it is v. literal and almost everything in it did literally happen, drinking whiskey reminds me of him, we always stared at each other's pupils to see if they got bigger and he found a scar on my back that I didn't know I had (not in an interesting shape, but still) etc and he played me this song the first time he came to my house.

Jessica Lea Mayfield - Kiss Me Again
    I could easily do a separate post of songs about boys using ONLY Jessica Lea Mayfield songs but instead I am mixin' it up (and urging everyone in the world to buy both of her albums and listen to them for the rest of their lives). This is about a boy who I didn't wanna kiss but I kissed but then he said I was a "poisonous angel" and some really weird other shit and when I said I didn't wanna go out with him he said, and I quote "Why? What have I ever done to you?" so not a nice boy and not even a boy that I think about at all besides the fact that I first listened to this song the summer that we did the kissin' and it makes me much more fond of that time than he deserves.

Belle and Sebastian - Seeing Other People
    This is about a boy who I wanted when he didn't want me and who wanted me when I didn't want him and now we are sort of weird because I am too sad for ANY boys so sometimes we just get drunk and kiss, and he has plenty of other girls anyway and I am perpetually in love with people who don't want me so it is o.k and cuddles and muddles and kissing just for practice. Anyway despite my emotional problems this is one of the prettiest songs ever.

Jessica Lea Mayfield - I'll Be The One You Want Someday
    I think every one of her songs are about boys I know. This one is self explanatory I guess but I have about a thousand boy songs for this boy including Why Don't You Love Me by BeyoncĂ© which is also v. self explanatory but unfortunately I haven't found a song called It's Because You're Trendy And Beautiful And I'm Emotionally Unstable, Isn't It? I bought this album at about the same time that this boy happened so I think the whole devastatingly beautiful album is soundtrack enough (apart from Blue Skies Again because that is FAR too optimistic). 

    I will add to this with less important boys and their songs but those are the top 4 boys that have ever made me sad. All of them have 5 letter names with an O in them isn't that weird?

Monday, 19 December 2011

Top 10 Animals and Bottom 10 Animals

I do not understand blogspot but I do understand that I am meant to use proper punctuation now that I am a real official blogger but I haven't been to school in three months so I will probably be a bit rusty. Here is a countdown of my top ten favourite animals and also my ten least favourite animals. I will maybe do a fun illustrated version next week because, you know, I have a lot of spare time. Here are my ten favourite animals.

#10 Slow Loris
    They are super cute (look at its tongue omg) and I wanna cuddle every single one BUT get ready for the fun fact: slow lorises are dangerous pets because they have poisonous elbows. That is definitely a fact. You can google it.

#9 Maned Wolf
    I had an incredibly difficult time trying to decide my favourite kind of wolf but maned wolves are maybe the most novel because I look at pictures of grey wolves all the time (shut up). I don't know any cool facts about them but they don't hunt in packs and they are more like foxes than wolves and they are v. pretty and tall.

#8 Sea Otter
    Sea otters are super cute and whiskery and another animal that I wanna cuddle. They hardly ever get out of the water so when they sleep they have to hold hands so they don't float away!!! They are super clever and can open shells by lying on their backs, putting a rock on their tummy and smashing open the shell and look and also look aaaah!!!

#7 Sun Bear
    They have what National Geographic describes as a "comically long tongue" so I did some more googling and found this picture and I am 100% sure that I will never be sad again. They are usually a lot prettier than that and have really nice markings that apparently represent the rising sun. Sun bears are the tiniest bears and are only 2-3 ft tall, about half the size of black bears.

#6 Manatee
    I am not v. knowledgeable on fun manatee facts BUT I do know that they can grow up to 15 ft long!! Before I found that out I imagined them to only be a bit bigger than seals but they are HUGE and I wanna touch their big silly droopy faces. Oh they can also move each side of their lips independently so they are good at grabbing stuff and now I wanna touch their faces even more.

#5 Flying Fox Bat
    Look how flipping massive it is!! These bats have about a million different names and I don't know which one is right but anyway they are super great!! They can't do the squeaking and echoing thing that other bats do so they can't hunt at night but they have a 3 ft wingspan!! They are enormous that is basically the same as my wingspan, that is very exciting.

#4 Harpy Eagle
    Harpy eagles are the best eagles for a lot of reasons. They have a 7 ft wingspan and claws longer than a grizzly bear's which they use to catch MONKEYS. As if a bird that eats monkeys isn't amazing enough, they were also the inspiration for Fawkes in the Harry Potter films which is cool but not as cool as a bird that can eat monkeys (also sloths and deer and pigs but MONKEYS!!!).

#3 Arctic Fox
    Maybe this is just a list of animals I want to cuddle but arctic foxes are super beautiful, and they change colour completely for the summer which is v. clever and still super pretty. I like normal foxes too but arctic foxes are the best foxes, I think they are the most aesthetically pleasing animal in the whole world. Also the collective noun is a skulk which I like a lot. I want to kiss it on the nose.

#2 Tapir
    I don't think I have ever wanted to cuddle anything as much as I want to cuddle every baby tapir. When they grow up they lose their stripes which I think is very sad but a fun fact about tapirs is that they are v. good swimmers and they use their little trunks as a snorkel. The collective noun for tapirs is a candle.

#1 Platypus
    Platypi are a sort of jumble of every cool feature that an animal could have, like God's first draft. They sweat milk, use their beaks to detect electric pulses and they have enough poison in their back legs to kill a small dog. Also their babies are called puggles which is adorable and they are generally super super cool and therefore my #1 favourite animal!!!


Bottom 10 Animals

#10 Moth
    I have had an apparently irrational fear of moths (I think it is totally rational) since for ever because they are disgusting and too fluttery and they have no concept of personal space. I think they are the animal that I hate most but they are only #10 because fun fact: there are several species of moths that live only on tears. It is kind of sweet and romantic but I am v. v. glad they do not live on MY tears because it would lead to one of those the-more-moths-the-more-tears-and-the-more-tears-the-more-moths situations that I'm sure there is a word for but I don't know it. Moths make me cry.

#9 Serval
    Servals look like cats but broken. They are o.k I guess and some people keep them as pets because the babies are super cute, but when they grow up they are like a child's drawing of a cat with too-big ears and a too-long neck and they make my head feel funny. I want to squash them into proper cats or at least make their heads a bit bigger.

#8 Moose
    It is hard to choose animals that I hate but I think mooses (meese?) are pretty scary because I naively assumed they were about the same size as horses because Zoo Tycoon misled me, but I found out recently that they can be up to 10 ft tall at the shoulder!! If I stood next to that moose I would only just reach its tummy.

#7 Vulture
    Vultures are ugly so that is why they are on the Bad list but I do know a fun fact about vultures that I heard from Tom Waits: vultures eat so rarely that when they do eat, they have to eat as much as they can. However, they are also very light, so when they eat a lot it makes them too heavy to fly off, so after finally eating a meal after weeks and weeks, they then have to sick it up again so they can fly off before they get attacked. Most vultures that are killed are accidentally hit by cars while "dining". On a side note, Tom Waits is a total genius and he had a whole disc on his live album just of him telling facts.     

#6 Marabou Stork
    Marabou storks are basically everything bad about vultures but x1000. Fun facts and rage courtesy of Roisin: They are super ugly and have a "scab encrusted head" with only wispy hair so as to avoid getting "congealed blood" stuck to their heads. They are also called Undertaker Birds because they skulk around and look like they are wearing long black overcoats and are generally super creepy. Their legs look white but that is only because they are covered in poo and wee, they tried to kill Roisin and they EAT FLAMINGOS. Not even this amazing photo can redeem them from eating flamingos (or trying to kill Roisin).

#5 Cave Scutigera 
    I saw these on Deadly 60 and Steve Backshall let them walk all over his arms because he is the bravest man in the world but oh my god they are disgusting. They are about 3 inches long and have some sort of sting or bite but I can't stand to look on the website for long enough. I can feel them crawling all over my body.

#4 Angler Fish
    I have spent a lot of time (I'm a serious blogger remember, I use punctuation and everything) trying to decide whether angler fish should be in the top 10 or the bottom 10 because they are super super cool but v. ugly. I decided that I am shallow and so they are in the bottom 10 but here are the reasons why they are super super cool: They light up. It has been explained to me about a million times how fish can light up but I still don't understand and I don't think I want to, it just seems so incredible and alien that I want it to remain that way. Fact #2: In order to mate, the lady angler fish fuses a male into her so that he is attached, and they continue to fuse until she completely absorbs him and leaves just his testicles latched on to her and she can do this with several males. Super weird and super COOL here is the national geographic article which explains it better than I do and also has a handy diagram to show the size of an angler fish relative to a teacup, v. useful!!

#3 Mosquito
    I saw on QI that mosquitoes have killed more than half of the people who have ever lived and I have done a lot of googling but it all gets complicated so I am just going to believe Stephen Fry. As well as killing billions of people they are also really fucking annoying.

#2 American Badger
    Look how shit American badgers are compared to our badgers, I am so smug. Badgers are the only thing that make me feel patriotic. I don't even have any cool facts about them because just look how shit they are!!!

#1 Wrinkle-Faced Bat
    Literally the worst thing ever. I was sick in my mouth when I had to find a photo.

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Fortuitous Jumble

    Isn’t it strange how one person can love another person so much that they are “the whole world” to them but that person is really just three insignificant cubic feet of bones and meat and skin and fingernails and teeth and spit and hair in a fortuitous jumble and that is all they are. Just one human being. Do you ever lie awake at night and think “this is all I am” and curl up so tiny, as small as you can, and think “this is all I am in the whole world, just these limbs and bones and organs” and think that no matter what your hopes, nightmares, priorities, hates, fears and ideas, that everything is hidden in this tiny inconsequential mass of blood and flesh that is presently curled up so tiny? Do you think the person you’re in love with does that too?